DATELINE: November 7, 2020; from Lady Proverbs, somewhere on the Oregon Coast
Good new, bad news days are kind of good because it helps to not go all negative. I said to siblings today that I felt like roadkill. That was related to Dementia Mom, of course. All of our greatest Love because she’s one of the angels from Mt Angel; all time sweetest Mom. And now she’s almost unrecognizable.
Finally had a super jumbo cry last night, triggered by a sweet movie that had a real sad part. Well the eye-sky opened up and there she blew. It was almost soundless, didn’t want to wake up the Husband and make him feel really bad. When I feel pain he does too, and vice versa. We’re lucky like that. Then this morning it was still close to the surface and we were talking about Mom and the dam broke again. The hubby hugs were good. Then the memory care place called me and there was Mom on the phone. While a mixed call of sad weirdness and some good stuff, I did feel better. We haven’t completely lost her. That was at the core of the sadness. And no one can physically comfort her about the vast confusion she feels about this mental and physical prison — the latter being what she thinks of where she is now — because of fucking COVID. She’s kind of right about it being a prison.
Well the good news that also helped is we know who our next president will be, so that’s settled. While I’m not as much of a Pollyanna as I once was, I think there is some room for healing for those who weren’t that far away from voting for Joe, but fear a socialist republic. We can only hope that our next generation of legislators will not put party-over-people as their priority. ‘Cause I’m sick of nothing getting done. None of us can do that at our job: not do our work if we disagree with a colleague. Grow up, people. We fucking elect you to work, so work. Take the best of all agendas, there is good stuff in all of it, and bad shit too. Drop your beach toys, get to work and deal with it.
Mike drop. It’s Saturday, but every day is Saturday now ’cause I’m retired. I know, fuck me, you’re jealous. I was before I got old. Now I have elder fucking wisdom. So there.